Turning over a new leaf...

I have the best pastor in the world...sorry guys, but he is the best. Although he would say..."No, it's not me, cuz I'm not, it's that GOD is good and HE is faithful and HE speaks to you when and where you need." Or something like that...right Dave?
I have long struggled with and am completely aware of the fact that I struggle with the bad habit of...grumbling and complaining. I am just never satisfied. I don't know why I struggle with it...I've prayed for help and read several books. I don't mean to be ungrateful or unappreciative, but I am a grumbler. I really hate that about me...: ) See there I go again...
In Sunday's message, he talked about the Israelites that grumbled and complained about the manna that the LORD had graciously provided for them...I grumble and complain about this slow computer and my small house mostly, but both were graciously provided for me and my family. And though I've read this book in the Bible and learned this example numerous times and I've heard him teach about this subject before...something he said this time really made it sink in and convict me HARD CORE! He said and GOD expanded in my head and heart..."The Israelites would rather have taken slavery in Egypt than the provision of GOD in the desert. We are the same...we'd take the slavery of drugs, sex, power...(my notes- anger, pornography, complacency, complaining) than live my life for CHRIST in the way HE wants. Instead of being thankful for the manna & asking for something else...in prayer and humility, they complained about what GOD had provided."
GUILTY! So I vow and I have asked my husband, daughter and friends to hold me acountable about this...no habit, good or bad, is easy to change...that instead of complaining and grumbling, if & when my computer is moving slow, I will simply pray for the LORD to provide the utilities to move it faster...I will pray for a bigger house and stop complaining how small this one is...and if HE says "no"...? I will trust and rely on CHRIST to empower me to obey and accept HIS will and command. I follow and adore HIM because of who HE is, not for what I can get.
I also have a bad habit of getting frustrated about everything...big and small. Through reading my Beth Moore study yesterday...more conviction...realized that getting frustrated doesn't change the situation, doesn't make it better, and doesn't make anyone around me very comfortable, so I will stop myself mid-fluster and breathe and tell myself..."it doesn't matter"...I will need serious prayer for this one.
I truly am blessed and highly favored...I recognize how much the LORD has blessed me...it breaks my heart that the things that I prayed for and received are the very things I complain about. I am also only responsible for my own actions, reactions, responses and decisions...I can not control, nor am I responsible for the actions, reactions, responses or decisions of others. I can only do my part and their part is up to them and GOD's is up to HIM...I will accept and appreciate all that I have been blessed with and will pray for those that I cannot control myself...and my desire to only be HIS will.